Happy Birthday to me! I’m an old lady now. I’m celebrating in Florence tonight so I feel pretty good.
Henry David Thoreau, I feel you and I feel that quote is true. So, I’m going out with two guys (separately, of course) because I don’t want to think about Ryan anymore. Because I can’t be in his life the way I want to be, and I don’t know what he’s thinking and the un-mutuality of this relationship is hurting me. Because I’m in love with him. and he isn’t with me.
Terrible dream about me visiting him with my parents and then seeing there’s someone else so he ignored me totally. it was the weirdest fucking dream and I hate that now I’m thinking about him even when I’m sleeping.
i haven’t been able to write for three weeks, or something like that. ugh.
it is shaping up to be such a kierkegaard summer. like. fuck all y’all but I’m going to be reading sickness unto death because that is my fucking mood. I AM SO GRUMPY AND ONLY BEAUTIFUL DEAD SWEDISH DUDES FEEL ME
(ok and maybe I’ll read some goethe bc young werther man)